It is surreal.
First this season in the world is surreal and the rioting in the streets is surreal. The kind of season when I keep pinching myself -- is this happening?
But, second, this season WE are in is surreal; we are to my last four Sundays with you, the last four weeks.
For me this all feels right, on one level, but also strange. It was two years ago in March I heard from Jesus, “You have two years left at Westside.” I knew these last weeks were coming then, but that does not help experiencing them now. What a year this has been. I’ve been on a steep learning curve for a whole other area of life and work, on assignment from Jesus. Just like every Bible story there is, I am walking by faith between the call and the miracle.
Do you know what I mean by that?
We know the end of every story in the Bible because it has already occurred. We can read the ending. But all those real people, living real lives, with real faith we read about, they could not see the ending. From Jesus saying, “Follow Me,” to those fisherman, they never imagined what might come. Did they foresee themselves raising the dead and casting out demons? Most likely not. They were in a faith stage between call and fulfillment, between the first step and the end of the journey.
When Jesus said to Jairus “Don’t be afraid, only believe.” And walked with Jairus to his home. Jairus did not know how it was going to end. All he knew was that he walked alongside the Rescuer, the Savior, the One whom he had implored to heal his daughter. He was in the in-between time of faith.
You can look at every Bible story and witness this.
The desperate widow speaking with Elisha in 2 Kings 4 did not know what would happen when she approached the prophet, feeling hopeless and alone. She did not expect the prophet to ask “What do you have in your house?” She viewed what she had as nothing at all.
It’s like that for you too, sometimes, isn’t it? You can feel like you have nothing to offer, no way to be involved in what God is wanting to do. I know that feeling. Perhaps we can take from this one story the encouragement -- God will always use what little we have to accomplish big things.
In this story, this widow got to participate in a miracle. But even in being obedient to the command of the prophet, she could not have known what would happen as she gathered jars and began to fill them, impossibly, with oil. What emotions coursed through her as this occurred? What thoughts came to mind? How did this impact her two boys? She was in the in-between time, the “by faith” season, between call and fulfillment.
This is where we are now. We are in-between. As we part from one another we will still be in that same in-between time. We don’t know all God has planned for us even as we separate from one another. But rest assured, GOD HAS PLANS for us both! He plans to use us in all He is doing. Using what little we have, and as we trust one step at a time, God will lead us to the fulfillment God has planned.
I keep coming back to that thought.
People say, “So, you are retiring!”
“No, I’m not,” I respond. “I am just moving from the local church into a ministry alongside the church in the world seeking still to reach many for Christ.”
People say, “How is the business coming along?”
“Well, that’s hard to tell,” I respond. “Slow, I guess would be one thing. But God has opened some doors and I’m just seeking to be obedient with the steps and praying He shows up.”
It is this in-between time that is tough. I cannot see, we cannot see ahead. That is why in Hebrew walking into the future is phrased walking “backward into the future,” because, no one SEES it. We cannot see what is coming. All we can see is what is behind us.
We can see how God answered prayer for us as a community, met us in the privilege we have had to be together, and as I recounted in May, we can tell of miracle after miracle story of what God has done among us. This we can see.
In my heart, I have a record of so many answered prayers over the decade. These are sign posts. God has done it. God will do it again.
This brings hope. I find that I am a pendulum in this season. I swing between anxiety and hope, between intense grief and joy. I will miss you all.
I will miss walking with you, praying with you, worshiping with you and seeing you weekly and often during the week. All that, I will miss. As we walk in the in-between time, keep trusting. Jesus has walked many, many others through such times before. He knows how to do it. We will come through and be able to be together again. Know this -- I love you all. Pastor Brian