Brian's Blog: Hamilton and the UMC

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This week I finished reading the book entitled Hamilton:The Revolution which describes what went into the creation of the play that has become an international sensation.  The book describes the history of the play, the many people that went into making it a reality, the achievement of it, and the power of the statement it continues to make to many about what it means to be an American.  

Truly, that most of the roles of the nation’s founders are played by people of various ethnicities alone was impactful.  The actors themselves spoke of the power this had on their own sense of “belonging” in this nation. And audiences were left with a challenge to “not throw away their shot” at becoming an answer to the divisions experienced in our nation.  Indeed, it helps that the story of Alexander Hamilton is the story of an orphaned immigrant, who ought to have died either in the hurricane that had hit the island where he was born or of the same illness that took his mom’s life yet he lived to change this nation.

The quotes and tweets of actors, the director, choreographer, costumer, set designer and author add power and heart to the challenges faced to produce this first-ever play of its kind.  That every line is sung and in rap alone is remarkable. It was all written by Lin-Manual Miranda and evokes the emotion and power of that and this era of history.  

Before every show, Chris Jackson, who played George Washington, would gather all his castmates and arrange them in a prayer circle beneath the stage.  “Hey, every great team has a huddle, right?” he’d quip. He would tell them to breathe and breathe again, and then would offer a little benediction, half pep talk, half petition to the Almighty.  He’d say, “Let’s be sure, that no matter what happens out there, I’ve got you. Let’s agree that for the next 2.5 hours this is the most important thing we will do in our lives. He closes with the hope that everyone in the audience, on the stage and in the orchestra pit would leave the theater a better person than they walked in.”   

Lin-Manual Miranda says of his friend Chris, if he had wanted to be a pastor, he would have a megachurch.  

Through a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation, thousands of high schoolers came to see the production and left impacted by the lives depicted.  Their teachers gave them various assignments to follow up on the experience. One teacher asked the students to debate various topics by using poetry and rap not prose as the medium.   The teacher said the result was powerful as the students‘ creativity was placed on display.  

The effort to produce this magnitude of a play took weeks of intense rehearsals.  Reading this I was astounded at how malleable the entire project was right up to the critic performance on Broadway after which they could not make other changes.  

But the thing which stood out the most, other than the genius behind it all was this one fact: this play illustrates that it was not through one person but through the combined work of many that this nation was built.  It was not built through all one race and gender, but through the actions of all, working in unity that brought the nation (and the play) into being. Indeed, the unity of the nation is heightened by its diversity.  

This one reality spoke to my heart as I read the book.  

The UMC as a global denomination is facing division.  We are needing to hear this message:  

We need each other.  

We are instantly impoverished when we cut off one viewpoint.  Who has the corner on God or Jesus? Would any of us audaciously claim that our thinking is the only thinking possible on any one topic?  Could it be this difficult journey of the UMC is an opportunity for us to rediscover the importance of each person, of each of us? I know that here at Westside we are richer because we have a breadth of theological understandings within our congregation.  All of us have unique experiences with Jesus. And all of us have unique testimonies to share.  

None of know what will happen in the UMC.  On Sunday 1/26 we talked some about the possibilities.  However, we don’t know what’s Coming.  

We do know: God is good and that the church is of God.  So the church is not in danger due to any human action. And we do know this too — we need to stick together to achieve anything.

Come This Sunday and Let's Talk

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Have you got it all figured out yet?  This life? 

This mystery of a life where one day both children and the husband of a family are snatched off a rock by a sneaker wave at the Oregon Coast leaving a grieving, lost wife and mother behind and on the same day a couple got married, and in another location, more children were welcomed into life?  It’s a mystery. There are not enough answers to all the whys we might ask, however, we have confidence in the One who is there with us in the middle of it all. 

Jesus was with those children and that husband/dad swept off that rock into eternity. 

Jesus is with that grieving mom and widow.  

Jesus was with that couple making their vows. 

And Jesus was there welcoming those new lives.  

Jesus is in the middle of the suffering and all the rejoicing.  

The only real answer for the big questions of life is Jesus.  And I don’t mean to sound simplistic.  

He’s an answer because he came as the Way in this life.  He is the answer for He alone is the Truth over and against every lie. Indeed, He IS Life. He is the answer, for before all the mishaps, tragedies and celebrations, He had offered Himself up for all people, to draw all people to the God who loves them, so, HE is in the middle of all suffering, all hurt, all loss, all unanswered questions, and all celebrations.  Yes, Jesus is the One we can turn to. 

This Sunday, we are welcoming our District Superintendent, the Rev. Erin Martin, to Westside to preach and share with us and for us to share with her, as we journey together into the unknown that awaits us.  Transitions can feel more unnerving if unanticipated. And we are not only in the midst of this pastoral transition but the whole denomination is in transition.  

For both, we are seeking to be very clear in communicating together. So talk.  Talk more. And talk more about how the anticipation of transition is working on your own heart. What causes you the most fear? In what are you most confident?  How is God working in your heart through this time? These are the questions we need to continue to process together so that throughout this season of saying goodbye, our hearts can be readied to step forward into welcoming whatever awaits us in the next season.  

As Erin shares the call of Jesus upon us the church for unity, God’s best vision for now and the future, in the midst of divisive times, do come to worship so that this part of transition can be experienced by you. 

Affordable Housing Forum

Come learn about innovative ideas for developing affordable housing on land owned by faith and community-based organizations.

This event, sponsored by Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon and Portland Bureau of Planning and Sustainability, will present the results of three case studies funded by a grant from Metro, which provided consulting services for design and financing work.

The consultants will present options they developed for three organizations. Representatives of the three organizations will also share their visions. You will have the opportunity to ask questions and to network with lenders, developers and city staff.

Where: Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church (Fellowship Hall)
5828 NE Eighth Ave., Portland
When: Thursday, January 30, 2020
from 6 to 8:30 p.m.

This event is free but your RSVP is requested.

Join the Journey, 1.19.20

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Question: When has mercy been hard to take?

Answers:

  1. Sometimes I think by holding on to guilt and rejecting mercy, I will motivate myself.

  2. When my superego says the right thing to do is to punish myself for whatever I think I may have done to offend/sin against God or neighbor.

  3. It’s harder for me to give mercy than to accept it.

  4. When I feel undeserving, unworthy.

  5. When I know how badly I messed up.

Brian's Blog: Last Things

It was Maundy Thursday 1983. That is the service before Easter Sunday that celebrates the last night Jesus spent with his disciples. I was sitting in the choir at St. Mark United Methodist Church in Santa Barbara, California. Jimmy Gibson was preaching. 

Jimmy was an Irish-born evangelist then in his 70s. He’d retired to Santa Barbara and served as the minister of evangelism at St. Mark church. He was a unique and beautiful guy. When he talked about Jesus, or heaven, or just about anything connected to Jesus, he would get so excited that he would stand on his tiptoes and lean out towards the congregation.

He did that lots in the sermon he was preaching that night. His title was “The Importance of Last Things.”

He told of saying goodbye to his mom in Ireland as he set sail for America. He told of the last goodbyes to friends dying. He told of Jesus’ last night with his disciples. God used that message to awaken a move of God in my life.

There’s something clear about last moments. There is a special quality to those times in life.

I was saying goodbye in August 2000 to my mom at the care facility before I left to head back home to Oregon. Mom and I both knew this was our last goodbye. Sometimes you just know.

Mom had had ten years of Parkinson’s disease at that point. She was doing ok, just with some dementia, but still we knew. I leaned over her bed, kissed her and said, “Bye mom. I love you.”

She had been incoherent at points during the conversation we had just had, so I wasn’t certain she was even seeing who I was. But as I leaned over her, she reached up, placed her right hand on my left cheek and with a completely lucid expression on her face and in clarity of voice, she said, “Lord, bless my son.”

There we were. Mother and son bonded in a touch. 

It was like the moment when Jacob blessed the sons of Joseph in Genesis 45. It was this clear moment of loving affirmation and grace. And then the lucidity vanished. And she was speaking to people I couldn’t see.

I walked out staggered at that moment. She died a week later to the day, while two nurses supported her, one on each side, to walk her to lunch. On one side of her room’s doorway she was alive, on the other side, she’d left.  Gone from here.

Last things.

 As we have exited a decade and I’m in this last six months of pastoral ministry, I’ve been thinking a lot about last things.

Last summer I led my last Hagg Lake Baptism Service. 

I participated in my last Camp Iwannabe here with our partner congregation. 

I also went on our missions trip to the DR for the last time. 

And, I just walked through my last Advent and Christmas celebration. 

It was my last Christmas Eve service to celebrate as a pastor. 

Each of these has felt particularly unique it its own way. But Christmas Eve was poignant.

With all my love / hate relationship with that service still, for me, it was the best year.

It was simple, stunning, and moving. And the coolest thing happened. Because we finished early, I was able to make the 30-mile drive from my church building to Karen’s and attend her service! 

So in the same night I led my last and participated in my new first Christmas Eve service. And it made the ending less painful. 

Not that I won’t grieve the endings, but I discovered that just because something ends doesn’t mean there’s nothing good awaiting us around the corner. For I so enjoyed just attending the service, hanging with friends there, laughing and being.

I totally didn’t expect that.

You too are experiencing and have experienced “Lasts” -- not only with me, but within other areas of your own life. And each of these too must be noticed, grieved, and released, in order to greet what next might come. Together we will walk this journey in order to prepare our hearts to welcome what may come.  Thanks for being here and walking in this journey with me, as I get to walk it with you. As Kari Suppes reminded us, 2020 can be applied to 20/20 vision, and this new year can be one full of vision. In the middle of the new things to welcome, we remain rooted in the old, long-term, real, substantial faith we have been given, into which we have been welcomed, in which we find life and hope.  In this faith, we can face any future, together, united, filled with hope. Grace and peace.

God's Love...or Your Anger?

One of the places you can tell that the Book of Jonah is not a created story is from the ending. There is no way that someone who was writing a fictional story would place his hero in such bad light throughout and even more so at the end, where the hero argues with God because God is too merciful and forgiving. This just underlines the veracity of the account. Truth is stranger than fiction. And you got one strange tale here.

The prophet Jonah is so committed to the hatred of the enemies in Nineveh that he wanted them to die more than he wanted them forgiven. His anger also can get under our skin too. God asks such a penetrating question: “Do you have any right to be angry?”

It is a powerful question for often when we are angry, like Jonah, we would stomp our feet and say back, “Yes, I have every right to be this angry.” Yet, the next day, when looking back, or if we heard a recording of the interaction, might be able to say: “Phew, I was out of control.”

There you have it. We see 20/20 in hindsight but not in the situation, especially when glazed over by anger.

God makes no comment on the prophet’s rashness, except to ask the question and to follow the first up with a second, “If you can change your mind about the plant, you did nothing to create or nurture, then can’t I also change my mind about these 120,000 people…”

Prior to this Jonah had left the first conversation with God to sit on a hill, overlooking the city to hopefully watch God destroy it. Instead, redemption came.

How well do you understand God’s heart of redemption? How well have you acquainted yourself with how much God loves others including you? How much does your behavior -- your speaking, your thinking, your acting -- put God’s kind of mercy and love on display? How might you pray this week to grow in that?

Then, don’t miss worship with all those who spent the night sleeping on the chairs!

An Update on KIVA

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Thanks to you, Westside has been able to loan over $700 to small business owners in the Dominican Republic!

Through KIVA, the loose coins and small bills that you drop in the change bucket on Sunday mornings are being put to good use. We have contributed to ten different loans. Three are already in repayment status. As they are repaid, we are able to fund new loans.

KIVA has a 97% repayment rate and, through 1.8 million lenders, has loaned over $1.4 billion dollars in 77 countries. Visit KIVA.org to learn more.

Join the Journey, 1.12.20

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Question: What do you need to tell God the truth about today?

Answers:

  1. My relationship with James.

  2. Sometimes I resent being a caregiver 24/7.

  3. I fail so often at not making judgements about people without knowing all of the information and background.

  4. Good spiritual health is important.

  5. That I am weak.

  6. That I need his strength and help. I’m struggling and feel broken.

  7. To release, and unforgiveness.

Brian's Blog: Because of You

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Dear Friends,

What a year!

“Could I stay here with Brian instead of going to church,” the 17-year-old Family Promise guest asked his dad.  Later he told me, “He never says yes to that request.”  So, instead of church that night, this young man and I talked about scripture, about the story from Daniel of the three Hebrews in the furnace, about faith and about life. Then, he taught Abby Hawkins, the other evening host, and I how to play a video game using his setup.  We also got to hold another guest’s infant.  Had you walked in, you would have found us simply caught up in joy, crying with the laughter.  Later this young man said, “I’m going to ask my mom if you could come pray through our house to bless it after we get one.”  I was staggered. 

It is because of how you give that such ministry opportunities happen here.     

Jamie, at 71, was referred to me for counseling this year and after a couple initial times we have met monthly.  Together we have seen Jesus work miracles through deep healing, so that she is set free in so many areas of heart and life.  She has begun to live again.  Jesus loves to heal.

And you all are part of that healing, because of your generosity.

Tim Gibson, the team leader of the 2019 missions’ trip to the Dominican Republic told us that money brings aid but relationships bring hope.  The community of Rio Grande has been transformed by the relationships built with teams over the past eight years so that child prostitution has ended and those children now have a vision for a future as doctors, teachers and forensic scientists.  The workers who staff the projects that the teams join, have met Jesus and had their lives changed.  All this happened because of your willingness to create a place where missions matter and relationships matter both here and there. 

Your giving makes such mission possible. 

Because of your overwhelming generosity…  we have hosted Family Promise four weeks, started monthly HomePlate meals, participated in reaching 40 kids with Jesus’ love at Camp Iwannabe; continued food distribution through the Free Food Tents to around 1000 people a week both at the site and through local pantries; experienced the Holy Spirit moving at the women’s retreat; built all the interior walls of a house with Help Build Hope and our friends at Christ UMC; took weekly, hot meals out to the Migrant Camp and built ongoing relationships there; participated in the WFWA outreaches; distributed Christmas Food boxes; gathered weekly to praise and worship God, hear the Good News, advance the Kingdom, and experience the transformation that occurs as we follow Jesus by being part of a community.  

All that and more because of you! 

Then we reached December and almost as if to say, “Well, that’s not quite enough,” you stepped up to the plate, accepted the challenge and gave in an overwhelming way so that we had a Christmas Offering that totaled $37,605.46!  Seriously! 

So, because of you, we have been able to give:

$3940.55 to Family Promise of Beaverton

$6000 to help us build two homes June 20th with Help Build Hope and Christ UMC

$1000 to assist one delegate from the Alaskan Missionary Conference to come to this year’s joint Annual Conference

-AND-

$26,664.91 to pay down the principal on one of our mortgages!  This will shave a full three years off those payments! 

This is all because of you…  Relationships do bring hope.

I have such deep hope because of all of you.  Thank you for changing my life, too, these nearly 11 years.  You are an incredible congregation.  I am richly blessed to have served here and am so excited to see whom God will bring for the next season of Westside Journey’s life in ministry for I know God has GREAT PLANS for you and through you. 

Thank you again for giving and changing so many people’s lives!

We are rejoicing to join you in serving Jesus Christ –

Pastor Brian and the Stewardship and Finance Teams 

 

Condolences

Westside just got word that John Shaw passed away on January 7.  It was sudden and quick, “like he wanted,” his daughter said.  Prayers for Ann, his wife, and his entire family.  John and Ann were members of WUMC for many years but, due to health concerns, moved to California to be closer to family. 

Are You on the Run?

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We are journeying in the Whale of a Tale -- the best fish story ever, and one that changed the course of history for a lost people. As we do so we find that Jonah hit the “bottom” and turned around.

Sometimes it takes this very thing in our lives for us to make a turn around as well. We have to come to the end of our own efforts to save ourselves, our own efforts at impressing God, in order to surrender to God fully. In Jonah’s prayer in the second chapter, we encounter a prophet willing to let God be God and yet also declaring his confidence that he will yet live and praise God anew. This turn around is sufficient. Jonah is spat back onto the shore.

It seems incredible that this prophet really intended to thwart God’s call by fleeing, but God would not be thwarted. What might we learn about the character of God from this account of someone’s attempt to RUN only to find God ran faster than he could? What might this tell us about our own attempts to run from the identity and calling upon our own lives? What might we learn from this story about confession? What does it look like to Jonah and therefore to us? We are deep in the belly of the whale. This is our three-day visit to the tomb. It was to this very place that Jesus compared his own encounter with death. “Just as Jonah…” “so the Son of Man” Jesus said. This is that time period. Let’s not miss what God might like to do with the darkest moments of our lives. Let’s not lose touch with how God is at work. God won’t waste anything. And God plans to use everything.

Rock Voices

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This Sunday, January 12, you have the opportunity to hear a community rock chorus with a professional backup band. Rock Voices has groups across the country that perform to raise awareness and donations for charitable organizations.

Your attendance will benefit the nonprofit Youth Music Project, which provides outstanding music education to thousands of low-income kids in Oregon. Ticket prices range from $8 to $15 and may be purchased at https://portlandjan12.bpt.me/

The 4:00 pm concert will be held at Lake Oswego High School, 2501 Country Club Rd in Lake Oswego.

To learn more about Rock Voices, visit www.rockvoices.com.

HomePlate Open House

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HomePlate Youth Services is celebrating their latest drop-in center at Aloha Church of God and you’re invited!

Join them from 4:00 - 5:30 pm on Wednesday, January 15 (which just happens to be the same day that Westside serves dinner there!) There will be a short tour, light refreshments, and ribbon-cutting.

RSVP here. Aloha Church of God is located at 18380 SW Kinnaman Rd in Aloha.

Brian's Blog: Seeing is Acting

2020.

We want 20/20 vision. 

We speak of “360 evaluations” in which we have a full circle review of an employee— so we see them in the fullest light, or can see them with 20/20 vision!  

We say that hindsight is 20/20 — that we see God clearest when looking back at past events. 

Vision and Seeing matter.  We want to see clearly in life, so that when we have trouble with our eyesight we get prescription lenses.  We buy TVs that help us see more clearly. There’s always an upgrade in technology. 

Seeing while driving is important, so we replace wiper blades. 

When sight is mentioned in the Bible - like a blind man getting his sight restored, in the healing is intimated also a spiritual kind of seeing.  Certainly, the person once had no physical sight and now does, but also, the person gets to see and in seeing, sees Jesus. In that is spiritual sight -- often seeing then is accompanied by worship -- as in John 9 where once the blind, now seeing, man meets and recognizes Jesus as the one who healed him, begins to worship.  

As we launch into the year 2020 -- can you imagine we are at that year? There was a time when 1984 was far, far in the future.  When George Orwell wrote his futuristic novel, it was some 40 years in the future. But now that “future place” is three decades ago.  

But as we step into this new year and the beginning of a new decade, what steps might you take so that you step with all the “Seeing” you can muster?  

Often people will set resolutions -- about weight, exercise, eating, drinking, etc, resolutions that often are not accompanied by enough accountability to make them stick. 

This year -- what if instead you chose three actions that were not about a long term goal, but about how you want to be.  An action is like something visible -- it could be caught on camera. What if you chose three necessary actions that you want to begin to characterize your life; actions that might influence your life.

Here are some actions I’ve encountered with others: 

“Read the Bible daily”  “Pray 15 minutes daily” “Greet strangers” “Buy coffee one time each week for the person behind me” “Give away $10 weekly” “Invite others to join me” “Join an exercise class” “Read a book a week” “Skip coffee once a week and give the money away” “Write down three things I’ve thankful for in the last 24 hours into my journal daily” “Tithe 10% of my income to church”  

Like goals or resolutions, critical actions like these will take others knowing about them, and holding you accountable to them, to make them happen.  So, don’t just decide without telling others. But choose. Take action. Let 2020 not only be the year of transition, but the year of critical actions that bring change to how you view your life and this world.    

Jonah Tells Our Story

Jonah.  The greatest and largest fish story ever -- indeed, a whale of a tale! Yet, a real story of a real live prophet who lived in a real time and place and really did preach to the people of Nineveh.  Yes, I know, many would like to disbelieve this story, but what is so far-fetched about it -- can God not rescue through some huge sea creature? Is anything too hard for the Lord? Rather than argue about veracity, let’s listen for what we might learn of God and ourselves through the plight of this prophet. You don’t have to read very far into the words of this story before encountering yourself, your own heart, your own tendency to flee from God when faced with things that scare, or worry, or hinder you in your own life. 

From the first line we recognize that this prophet heard from God and believed God to be good. You with me? Do you believe God is a good God?  You and Jonah already have lots in common. The issue for Jonah is he didn’t want to reach out to the people God wanted him to reach out to. He then demonstrated something else he believed, that he was trickier than God, that if he ran, God wouldn’t or couldn’t find him.  Ever think that way? “God can’t come in here.” Where are the places you are convinced God isn’t? Surprise, Jonah found out that God even works in the dice (the lots) of godless sailors. Talk about where you don’t expect God to show up. 

So, this story, this prophet tells our story in a way -- our own desire to flee from what we don’t like in order to find our own way.  And to flee as far as we can from the calling God may have placed upon us. The interesting thing is that every action of Jonah has consequences in the lives of others, indeed, nearly leads to their deaths.  

Do you remember the foolhardy beliefs of the captain and crew of another big ship who ignored warnings from multiple sources because the captain wanted a winning time across the Atlantic for his retirement voyage?  The iceberg the Titanic hit sank that ship and the impact was that 1517 people died because of the sin of a few.  The collateral damage of sin is immense.  

“No one sees. No one knows. It isn’t hurting anyone.” These thoughts are always false, for our lives are intricately connected to many, many other lives, and those things done in secret, in the dark, do immense damage upon others.  

This story takes us along such pathways and on this Sunday into a movie theater with a 14-year-old boy who believed that God couldn’t go to the movies and certainly not into an R-rated movie. But, just like Jonah, this boy was wrong.  And what God did in that boy’s life in that theater has rocked many lives. 

Don’t miss Jonah and don’t miss reflecting upon your own life through the life of the only prophet who is directly connected to Jesus, who said more than once, “Just as Jonah was three days and nights in the belly of the fish, so much the Son of Man be in the belly of the earth three days and nights.”  This story -- relates to Jesus and let me tell you, I have found, it relates to you and me too.  

Come to worship -- defeat loneliness and isolation by entering this Jesus community. 

All Church Gathering

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On the weekend of January 18 and 19, come for any or all of these:

  • Saturday at 7:00 pm - games in the Lighthouse. Bring a snack and beverage to share

  • A movie in the sanctuary following the games

  • Sleepover! Bring your sleeping bag, pillow, blankie - whatever will make you comfortable

  • Breakfast from 7:30 - 9:30 am on Sunday. All are welcome, even if you were unable to attend the previous evening. Sign up to bring breakfast items in the church lobby

You’re encouraged to bring your friends to this family-friendly extravaganza of fun!

Please RSVP at signups.wumc.me, especially if you’re coming for breakfast.

Your Giving Hearts

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Thank you so much for your generosity this season!

On Saturday, December 21, eight families were provided with Christmas dinner and enough food for a week, all through your donations! Thank you to all who donated, packed, and delivered these blessings.

Western Farm Workers Association delivered food to 75 families for Christmas. Each delivery contained staples such as dried pinto beans, rice, oil, a turkey, fresh fruit, vegetables, eggs, and more. A total of 94 people volunteered to sort and deliver the Christmas food boxes.   At the Christmas party, dinner was served to 400 people.

WFWA food distribution

WFWA food distribution

Warm clothing for children continues to be a need of the WFWA. Donations are appreciated at any time. Contact Merry Goldthorpe for more information.


Brian's Blog: Listen

The man in the men’s group walked up to the leader, Jamie Winship, and said, “I don’t believe in all this God speaking garbage.  I don’t believe it for a second. The very notion that God speaks.” You might have expected him to end this with a resolute “BAH! HUMBUG!” but he didn’t.

Jamie was nonplussed.  He said, “Well, how about you and I and this other man here (a young guy whom Jamie was training up), go into that room there for some privacy and ask God to speak to you and see what happens.” 

The man was flustered, “I don’t think you heard me. I said I don’t believe in all this God speaking nonsense.”  

“Oh I heard you,” responded Jamie, “but what I am saying is God does speak and does so with or without you believing it. So, what you believe or disbelieve does not matter a bit.  If you want, let’s put your question to God for Him to show up to you in a way that you cannot deny.” 

The guy agreed so Jamie, he and the other younger man went into the side room.  Once there, Jamie said, “Ok. I am just going to open with a simple prayer to silence the voices in your head that you are listening to all the time. The negative self talk. The mean words. I am just going to ask Jesus to silence that, and then I will ask Him to show up to you and you can tell me what you hear.  God is going to talk to you, not to us.” 

The man was still a bit miffed that Jamie still seemed to believe God would show up.  

So Jamie prayed, everyone with eyes open, the man who was confronting Jamie looked intensely into Jamie’s eyes.  Jamie said, “Jesus, I just ask you to silence the voices this friend is listening to all the time for now and let him be open to hearing from you. Now, Jesus what would you like to speak to him?” 

And they waited.  

Jamie asked, “Are you seeing or hearing anything?” The man said, “Well, it’s just stupid.” 

Jamie said, “What is it? Say it.” The man said, reluctantly, “I see a door. Just a door and I cannot go through it.” 

Jamie and the other young man were so excited. A door? They were thinking how Jesus said He himself was the door (and the gate of the sheep). They were also thinking of Revelations 3:22 in which Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock and if anyone opens the door I will come in and eat with him and he with Me.”  But they didn’t say any of these things for this was about Jesus speaking not them speaking.  

Jamie said, “Lord, what else would you like this man to see?” 

The man said, “My feet. They are stuck. I cannot get to the door. I cannot move.” “Ok,” said Jamie.  He and the other young man again exchanged glances thinking they knew who was holding this man back from movement.  

Jamie prayed, again, eyes open: “Jesus, please show our friend why his feet are stuck.”

And, at this, something happened. Suddenly the man became afraid, and closed his eyes, and knelt on the floor and cried out, “It’s Satan. It’s Satan. He is holding my feet.” And this man who was so certain God didn’t speak, was kneeling, eyes closed and crying.  

And Jamie and the other guy, got down with him, on each side of the man, hands resting on his back.  Jamie said, “It’s ok man. Jesus is speaking to you. You are hearing him. Say it; whatever you need to say.” 

And the man was sobbing, “We killed them. We killed two babies. We wanted to keep our careers going. But it was my decision. I wanted them out of the way. And I have felt guilty about it for these 27 years since we did it.” 

Two abortions and this man, now in his 60s still feeling such intense, gripping guilt over it.  And he is sobbing and sobbing having confessed, “we did this.” 

Jamie said, “Just get it out of you.”  The man, yelling it, shouting it, sobbing it continued. And they were with him. Then suddenly the man said, “Wait, wait the door is opening! The door is opening! And Jesus is standing there and He, He, He…” he was sobbing again.  “He is holding two babies. He has our babies. He is holding them! He has always had them.” 

Yelling, shouting, and transformed, this man gave himself to the same Lord who was holding his children. He entered through the door. 

This account told by Jamie Winship is a marvelous reminder of the fact that we serve the God who speaks and speaks and speaks. The God who needn’t be carried like mute idols but who is alive (see Isaiah 46).  This is the kind of God who makes the lame walk and the blind see and the dead rise. This is the kind of God who is REAL. What a God to serve into this new year. Just do it! Give yourself to him. Happy New Year!